Pretty Is Just A Social Construct, And We All Learn the Skills To Fit In

"Pretty isn't about how my face happens to look due to my genetic makeup. Pretty is about what I do with that."

So writes Emily Armstrong on the Huffington Post in "Pretty Is a Set of Skills." She goes on to describe the other aspects of her appearance that required her to learn a set of skills: make-up, hair, clothing.

Armstrong has a very valid point. Just think back to what you looked like when you were 13 — odds are, it was frizzy hair and too-tight pants galore. In our culture today, there is a significant part of our idea of beauty, or "pretty," that involves modifying what God gave us. I, like Armstrong, spent years wishing I had straight hair, until I realized my naturally curly hair was better suited to my round face shape. But wait — when I say naturally, I mean almost-natural-except-for-a-curling-iron. And, guess what? I get way more compliments on my "naturally" curly hair when I've tamed it at least a little.

"Pretty is artifice. Pretty is a construct, and a social construct at that."

So if the desirability of wearing makeup is a social construct, are bare-faced ladies revolutionaries? Well, actually, they sort of are, since they're ushering in a new definition of what beauty can be. Few women would go to a job interview without at least a coat of mascara on. It's not because long lashes means you're better at crunching numbers, or whatever it is you're applying for. It means you're conventional, which is still a pretty desirable — even required — trait in many settings.

"Pretty is like good design. It is a skill, or rather, a set of skills."

I've often fantasized about staging a sort of social experiment where I could be in a room with all the other women I know. In this experiment, we would all be completely bare-faced, buck naked, and have our hair tightly wound up in a slicked-back bun. With no clothes, makeup, or hair to flatter, would the tables be turned? Would the girl everyone envies be revealed as just a regular, real person, who just happens to be really skilled with a mascara brush and a straightening iron?

If I have a good hair day and sport a brand new outfit, I feel pretty confident about my looks. Unfortunately, frumpy me with old wrinkled clothes, frizzy hair, and a few pimples on my bare face doesn't quite cut it the same way. This is pretty bad, since I know it's all in my head. But recently, I've stopped wearing makeup and started sporting practical buns and more comfy clothing. Basically, I'm slowly unlearning what I thought I had to learn as a teenager.

Although Armstrong's piece isn't exactly ground-breaking news, it serves as a nice reminder that what we tend to pine for, what makes us insecure about our looks, is often just something that comes in a lipstick tube. Or with a pair of designer jeans. And if you're still having trouble putting things in perspective, just keep this no makeup Barbie in mind.

Underneath it all, we're just real women who spent way too much time learning to fit in.